Oct 16, 2016
During a recent winter frost as I was sitting in my car, I got out my phone and zoomed in. Look at the beauty of this picture. It's life, really, in so many ways. It is hard and cold and makes us feel chilled, but at the same time, it is beautiful and has depth - swirls and facets of frost that look like a tapestry. Nature in its purest form, and beautiful.
Being a parent of someone who is transgender is a lot like this image to me - you can see through it to the sky, but if you do, you miss the beauty that is right in front of you. If you focus on "others" and their opinions or beliefs, and put those worries before your own son or daughter who is sharing a hard truth with you, then maybe you need to take a closer look. Nature (God, to me) made us as a tapestry - each thread making up the whole beautiful design.
Some folks, however, can't get past the reality that sometimes the tapestry threads are weaved into an image they did not plan or expect.
I get it - this is not what you signed up for, but that's been true for many things that happen to all of us. The unexpected does not equal bad. In fact, you can expect a more meaningful and closer relationship with your loved one - if you support them, respect them, listen to them, and provide guidance/assistance when necessary.
What I see around me - right in front of me - are people who do not support their son or daughter who are transgender. They see fear first, I think - of what people will think, how their child can possibly have a happy life now, the fact that the path has changed drastically in their "future life plans" for their child. These are valid worries.
People can be mean - but I promise there will be more understanding and love from people than you expect. Your son or daughter will finally live as their authentic self - the person they know in their mind and heart that they are, and this reality gives them joy and confidence you never realized they were lacking! And your dreams for their future will change - but not from "good to bad," just "from today to tomorrow!" Working together, asking questions, doing research and becoming aware of what your son/daughter is facing - hormones therapy, binders, safe testosterone injections, doctor appointments, therapists (a good thing during transition - if they have some qualifications helping trans individuals), and a newfound love for your person!
These are the deep rich silk threads in that tapestry. They are woven between your heart and that of your transgender son/daughter. And with love, that beautiful tapestry is complete.
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